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A month of denial

When you can’t find the words to speak so you say nothing at all. You type it out and then, delete, delete, delete. You sit there blank, empty, numb, staring at a white screen not even sure where to begin. So I listen and wait, wait and listen, crying out to God as I rest in this moment of nothingness. I close my eyes and sink in.

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miscarriage…..

Just the word is harsh to my heart. Just seeing it makes my stomach hurt and my heart ache. Just hearing it makes me cry. Just saying it makes me want to weep.

It doesn’t matter how “far along” one is when this happens for it to be very painful, not just physically, but deeply, emotionally gut wrenchingly painful. Real pain and sorrow. Real thoughts and feelings. Real sadness and loss.

You see, when I took the pregnancy test on February 1st 2020 and it was positive, I was excited and eager to tell Craig, my sweet husband, the news! I even made our youngest (who was 9 months old at the time) a shirt that said “BIG BRO” on it and had him wearing it when Craig got home! I was already thinking of ways to make room for another sweet little one in our home. Four littles! How sweet and how fun! I was preparing my mama heart for what was to come. Overwhelmed, of course, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t. With already three kiddos, five and under and two of them twelve months apart, who wouldn’t be a tad overwhelmed or feeling unprepared for adding one more to the bunch? But in the most beautiful way! I was excited to tell our oldest, when the time was right, that her prayers she’d been praying every night had come true, and that she would become a big sister again! I was thinking of names, the room, the funny announcement that we would soon become a family of six…..one more to the crew that’s all, we promise….well maybe, hahaha!

But the bleeding just never stopped, the pain reeling inside of my body grew even though I was in complete denial. I was hopeful, prayerfully pleading for this little one to make it through. There have been many others who have had bleeding in pregnancy and all ended well, I just knew it would somehow be okay. Continued to have positive tests-eight to be exact but who’s counting. But then trips to bathroom that ended in sobbing and grueling pain, cleaning up, and flushing down, things I never even knew could hurt my heart so deeply so fast. All while trying to muster up courage to face my three little ones who looked at me confused, as I had big tears in my eyes and my energy drained. It was all I could do to survive those days, the weeks and the month. All I could do was cry out to God, but all I could manage was a tiny whisper, God I trust you. How ever this turns out, God I trust you. A tiny steadfast little whisper.

God I trust you, I have said over and over and it’s true. I trust that His ways are higher than my ways. His timing is divine, so perfect, so true. He holds the future in His hands. He knew about these days that I would face even as I sit here and pour out my heart in these moments now. He knew He’d take this tiny babe home to Him before allowing him or her an earth side, out of the womb. But as tiny of a baby as he or she was, this baby was REAL, alive for the time God knew, and this baby was ours.

But God.

But God is near to the broken hearted. God restores what the locust tries to steal, EVEN if that means only in heaven. God redeems. God heals. God is love. God is our provider and sustainer. He carries us when we cannot carry ourselves. God is our peace provider. God is Holy. God is sovereign over it all. It was never meant to be this way.

God has a plan in it all. Even in the awful word that is, miscarriage, He has a plan. We may not ever fully understand it in this life but he never promised that we would. But God Himself is enough. And He did promise that His glory in it all is here and is coming! We can give God glory even in sorrow and loss. We can give Him praise even when it hurts or doesn’t make sense.

I will miss seeing this sweet baby’s face and features and holding their hand, but I know in my heart of hearts that God will turn my sorrow into joy. I know that we can count everything in this life joy whether in the lowest of lowest valleys, or on the highest of high mountain tops, because HIS spirit is living in ME! He is more than enough! And I will be joined again with this beloved one we’ve lost, and we will never be lost again.

Finding joy in this pain can be a pain. It’s easy some times and then moments later it seems to vanish. There are times that feel foggy or numb. Then times of rejoicing and joy again. There are ebs and flows, highs and lows. Each of which are okay, expected, a part of the journey at hand.
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Then the world got canceled just as I was beginning to come out of the fog and turmoil of what I’d just gone through. I was finally physically able to start resuming my life and get out more. But COVID-19 drew everything to a grinding and surprising halt. Feeling isolated while going through the miscarriage was already so tough, you see being in denial is a strange place to be. I didn’t share too much as I was going through it because I was hoping for a different outcome, a different announcement to be. But that never came, so I suffered in silence mostly. And then being sheltered in place basically since then has been hard to say the least. But my help comes from the Lord, my maker and sustainer. My rock who redeems me! He’s given me comfort at just the right times. He’s given me encouragement through just the right people. He’s shown me that He alone IS ALL THAT I NEED. Social distancing has hit me hard with all that I’ve been faced. I’m also a very social being, and we were created for community. But I am gently reminded that through it all, as my eyes are fixed on Him, I will stand up and rise again. Being refined through the fire isn’t innately a bad thing. From the fire comes diamonds, out of ashes beauty! Refine me Father in every way you see fit.

Joy when the volume is HIGH

How do you find JOY when the volume is HIGH?

Finding JOY when the volume in your house is too high can be tough. When you can’t even think straight. When you feel so unequipped to handle it. When you question how much more you can take. >>>>>>>>>>>>

Just the other day that was right where I was at. It wasn’t a good high volume either. Not the kind of laughter or singing or running around. But high as in, kiddos screaming for no good reason, constant yells of “MOOOOOMMMYYY!!!” at a decibel I didn’t know a 21 month old could even produce, constant whining and begging for things I’ve already said no to 1000 times just seconds before because no we do not eat gold fish for breakfast. ALL BEFORE 8 AM to boot. AND may I add here that I am NOT a morning person to begin with, so add in this crazy high volume and me trying to get things together to get out the door and take care of everyone, I wanted to crack.

So where’s the joy in all of that?

How do you handle it all without losing it? How do you continue to push through and smile and show your kiddos grace and mercy when your head is spinning?

I am not perfect at this by ANY means but I have a weapon in my heart that sustains me and gives me the power to press in and press on! But it is NOT a secret! And you can have access to it too!

With this HIGH volume I pressed in and onward, because as a mommy do we really have a choice?! I gathered everyone up and out the door. Got all three little ducklings safely buckled in their car seats. I got all the snacks and cups, blankets, crafts, shoes, diapers and toys in! And I came back into the kitchen for my own person time out. I got down on my knees and cried out to the Lord! I got vulnerable before him laying it all down at his feet. I surrendered it! I repented for my continued lack of patience and grace. I asked for help and strength to get through and for my spirit to be lifted up and for my eyes to be fixed on Him. Then I got up and back to the car with a change of heart that felt so much better. /////////////////////////////////////===============

As I began to reflect a bit as we pulled out of the driveway and onto our destination, I was reminded at the beautiful children I have looking to me to be whole, healthy, stable and there for them. I was reminded that in the HIGH volume there IS JOY because those cutie kiddos have big voices and hearts and love to give. They are healthy and just learning how to use their voices. There is JOY because their little lives are a huge blessing from above, NOT to be taken for granted.

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We can all find JOY in the HIGH volumes of life sweet friends! It is a matter of CHOICE. We can choose to stay annoyed, frustrated and frazzled or we can humble ourselves and get on our faces before the ONE and ONLY one who CAN get us through it and provide the JOY! In the name of JESUS I have power over the HIGH volume and the frazzled state. BUT ONLY because I have decided to put my trust in Jesus. HE ALONE sustains me and equips day in and day out and often its merely moment my tiny moment. If you don’t yet know Jesus the way I’ve come to know Him please feel free to ask me questions. I would love nothing more than to share THE greatest thing that has ever happened in my life by putting my trust and life in Jesus!

Thank you for this life I GET to live!

Abba – I praise you for this day and all you’ve been doing and are doing in our lives. We are so undeserving, yet your mercy pours out on us daily. God I lay my burdens at your feet. I know full well you’ve got it all worked out. I know nothing is coincidental and breakthroughs are coming. Abba, we want more in life so we can be more of a blessing and reach more people for you. Lord, the enemy sure does love to try and place doubt and fear in there each day, but in Jesus name I rebuke that far away from me and from our family and far from our house. No other authority shall stand in my life other than you Lord. You are for us, more deeply that I can even imagine. God I praise you and thank you. I know in my heart and soul I can and will be used by You in a big and impactful way, and in small but equally important ways too. Thank you for this life I get to live and for where you have me right now and also where you are leading me. I lift this up to you in Jesus name Amen!

Another Home Birth

I always love the reactions I get after telling someone we had a home birth! Yes a home birth ON PURPOSE!

“Oh wow!” “That’s amazing!” “Oh wow I could never do that.” “So cool.” “Sounds scary.”

You get the idea. Lots of wide eyes, gasps of breath and wows.

This home birth experience was just as amazing and truly magical as the first one was. I can say I was honestly in denial the entire day that labor was happening, and that baby Ethan was on his way. I had plans, I had things left to do, I had places to go, pictures to take, a parade to walk in, and even hair to do! In my mind I had at least two more weeks until our little mister would make his big debut. That would have put us at 40 weeks. But little did I know God had another plan, He already knew. He knew our little mister was coming that day, the hour and time. He knew just how it would all go down.

That morning I did have some spotting but I just brushed it off. I let the midwives know just in case and I carried on and went about my day. I got to cleaning, organizing, and even was doing a trial hair and makeup on myself just hours before he came. I had a maternity photo shoot scheduled for that Friday for a lady who would use the pictures for her business and website so I wanted to make sure she would like the look I created before the date. So yes I was glammed up for the big event. NOT on purpose but definitely convenient right?!

I talked with my mother-in-law who was already planning on coming over that day to help me with a few things. I told her I think I was starting to feel some contractions but it probably was nothing because I had two more weeks and so much left to do. She suggested I track them at least just in case. So I obliged and downloaded the app and just pushed through the day. I was making a few things, cooking up some pasta salad, just doing this and that. I would pause here and there and log the pressure as it came. I let the midwife know that I think things were progressing but that I still felt it really wasn’t consistent.

I was still in denial and even though I was tracking things, there was nothing that was so intense that I couldn’t distinctly say “I’m in LABOR, he’s COMING, let’s get this show rolling!” So I kept just saying I am fine, no sense in rushing.

We were cleaning and organizing and moving things around. My mother-in-law suggested, “Let’s go ahead and blow up the pool.” So we got busy and pulled out the tarp, because again I had two more weeks so I still had some things left to do. We got it all prepped, clean, and ready just in case he came today, two weeks early. I was fully prepared to just stare at the empty pool for two more weeks.

I continued to notify the midwifes and of course my sweet husband every step of the way. I informed him finally that it may be best for him to go ahead and make his way home. And I finally let my midwife know things were getting more consistent it seemed. I finally was beginning to wrap my mind around things.

My mother-in-law had an appointment to get to that afternoon so she left for a bit and that’s really when I felt it all hit. I felt it hit me more because at that point I was more alone, alone with my thoughts and the pressure that was picking up. But not for long as Craig soon made it home. I walked back and forth just outside the front door, just pacing, distracting myself, and getting very warm. But of course it was 90 degrees outside but as labor progresses you tend to feel more and more warm. I then knew I needed to get myself upstairs and really prepare.

I had to use the bathroom so many times it felt crazy. And not too much longer I felt as if I was out of my own body. It’s hard to truly explain but it was like, my body was doing it’s thing, taking care of business and preparing for the next stage, preparing itself for this sweet new life to emerge. And that’s exactly what our bodies do. In a normal, non risky labor your body knows what to do and when. You do not have control over the date, or the timing. I was beginning to embrace this urge that was coming, these waves that were forming, the pressure that was mounting.

It’s not pain, it’s beauty. Beauty that your baby is making his way!

It’s not pain, it’s pressure. Pressure of your baby’s precious head is ready to enter.

It’s not pain, it’s a movement. Movement of everything shifting into place to make a way.

It’s not pain, it’s the baby preparing their descend. Their descend from the womb and into your arms at last. How beautiful, how perfect, how intricate the womb.

It’s not pain as long as you don’t give it life, don’t give it focus, don’t give it power. Sure you can call it pain if you’d prefer but I refuse to use that word. It is simply your muscles contracting. That word to me is negative and when you are doing a home birth you have to guard your words, your heart, your thoughts, your energy, your everything. The masses of people won’t likely understand. And that’s okay, I certainly understand. It is definitely not for the faint at heart. Now I say that to say I am no special person in any way, I just choose where my FOCUS was in a much different way.

My midwife made it with just a few minutes to spare. Because when I was messaging her I thought to myself, oh yeah she has plenty of time, go home, take care of your sweet dogs, and get in more appropriate clothes. I will be just fine, I am sure that I have much more time. So I told her to go home first and then come. I truly thought I did have much more time to go. I wasn’t feeling like things were that consistent and the urges were okay, nothing out of the ordinary.

My water broke as I was using the bathroom one of the 1000 times it seemed like that I went right before. So that was handy.

So labor began to progress very quickly at the end. I had one moment where things got really intense and I needed to pray, and that’s just what we did. Craig and I said a quick prayer, holding hands, as I leaned over the bed. For some reason it just felt better to be on all fours or at least have my hands on the bed leaning over. Again, in my personal experience, you do things in labor that seem out of body. It was as if I wasn’t the one getting into the positions or moving around or doing any of it.

I got into the pool to continue laboring. I was finally able to sit down and relax, the water truly helps with that.

Ease in, refocus.

Breathe, take it all in, it was all happening so fast.

All the while my mother-in-law was helping me to focus and breathe deep. I was getting these big urges of crazy gasps of breaths for some reason, it’s really hard to even explain. But she really helped me focus and keep calm and not push just yet.

I can remember Craig trying to find a light, the net, the mirror, preparing to help catch this baby since things were getting more intense as the minutes went on. I was not worried one single bit. I knew my body. I knew it would do just what it was created to do. I knew that I was covered. I knew that my Creator was there taking care of us every second. I was calm and peaceful inside. But I could sense that the time was very near.

With minutes to spare my sweet midwife was there! She came in the door at 7:00 PM and our precious little mister was here at 7:07 PM!!! It was perfect timing! Not for her because I know she likes more time to get all oriented and not feel so rushed I can only imagine. But all was perfect and he was HERE! Resting peacefully in my arms with his perfect little stares. It’s a BOY, we checked and confirmed, I was thrilled! It was over and we were so excited to see our newborn son, but still a bit surprised that, that day was the one. I had other things planned, so much to do, but not that day, God knew. That day was the day our little mister made his way, it’s a day I will cherish and remember and smile in a big big way!

Some of you may ask, “Where was Kinleigh in all of this?” our sweet little three year old daughter. Well the plan was that Lynn (my MIL) would be there to occupy her and play or what not, or even take her to my sister’s house if need be if she didn’t want to be around. BUT because I had basically been in denial all day, AND I have a high tolerance for the pressure that comes with labor, I delayed Craig AND the midwife from coming sooner because I thought it could just be false labor until the end. And also the midwife assistant was not able to make it either so we were down a few people. And I completely spaced out on reaching out to a few friends who wanted to be there to help. Sooooo Lynn really had to step in and help. And in turn Kinleigh was right there with us in all of the action. I had talked with her about the birth many many times in advance. I had told her she could stay in there or play, or even stay with her cousins. But when the time came she wanted to be right next to me. And I loved that so much! She was precious! My heart still skips a beat just reminiscing on her little hands. Her hands soothing her mama as I had each wave of a surge. She was consoling me, encouraging me, and cheering me on. She wiped my face with a washcloth and patted my arm so sweet. She was a little caretaker. She was the BEST! She was a blessing in every way. It made this mama heart so happy that she was there and we got to experience every part of it together as a family. My heart could explode!!! She watched as her baby brother came out asking her Daddy, “Is mommy pooping!” just as any typical toddler would do. LOL! And he explained, “No that is the baby’s head, your baby brother is coming!” She responded with, “OHHHHH!!!! WOWWWW!!!” She has always been very interested in how everything works. She is truly my best girl. She just loved on me and on the baby as we all just stared into his tiny fresh eyes as they gazed back at us.

Welcome to the world Ethan Cohen Grubb!

Shadows….

Maybe you don’t typically think about shadows. Or maybe when you think of them you don’t really see any meaning or value they provide. But I can say that shadows are actually a beautiful blessing providing protection and shade that can save you, guide you, change you and shape you.

We should stand confident in the SHADOW of the cross because it’s shadow casts protection over us and in it’s SHADOW we can find strength and hope, peace and a joy that transcends understanding or comprehension.

Just as the SHADOW of a tree or of a sky filled with shady clouds, or the brim of a large sun hat, they protect you from the harsh rays of the sunshine beating down; the SHADOW of the cross protects us as well. From things we know nothing of. From things we pray would come true, but God knows better for me and for you. From things we’ve never even given a thought. To things that our thoughts are continually focused on.

We need not strive or worry for a thing. We can run in the SHADOW provided by the cross, not carrying a single burden, not carry one single thing. Lay it down at the foot of the cross, so nothing, not one thing can slow you down from running the race you were created to run, running into the calling you were born to do.

Run fast.

Run fierce.

Run bold.

Run strong.

Run knowing that every detail has been crossed off. Crossed off and handled by the Maker, by the Man, by the Hand, THE Creator of all things on sea and on land!

Rest easy beautiful friends in what ever it is you may be walking in. You have a SHADOW that can bring you peace. You have a comforter that is in your corner. There is light in the darkness but a darkness that’s much different. Without darkness there can be no light. The light creates the SHADOW and it’s beauty is unique.

So take advantage of what you already have. Be still in the SHADOW and take in it’s protection. Take advantage of the rest you can find there. Soak up the life change that can happen if you allow it there. Embrace the SHADOWS!

MISUNDERSTOOD. IGNORED.

Do you ever feel misunderstood? Or how about not even being heard at all? Do you ever feel ignored, or perhaps you actually flat out just get ignored? I can say, yes, yes and yes to all of these.

Maybe you too can say yes to these. But oftentimes feelings are merely indicators. Did you know we can have control over our feelings and the way that circumstances seem to make us feel? It’s true! We may feel misunderstood, ignored or not heard, but the fact of the matter is that if that’s all you are focused on then that is your reality. BUT if you change the focus on others your feelings often change, and your outlook changes.

I know my heart and my intentions but others often don’t. They haven’t had the chance to get to know me well enough, because if they did things would be different. I speak in the confidence that God has given to me, not out of arrogance. Confidence and arrogance are two, very vastly, differently things, not to be confused with one another, yet so often they are. With confidence I know where I stand and where I am going. But others haven’t had to time to see M Y H E A R T.

I know that by reaching out to someone that their lives will be impacted by what I have to offer; from having a more full and rich life through the opening of their mind, learning new ways of thinking about life or people, or even from our business team, or from associating with amazing, positive, life-giving people, and even from world class products that have not only helped change my life but many many others as well with health and wellness! But others haven’t had the time to see M Y H E A R T.

I often get ignored. I often get misunderstood. I often don’t even have a chance to be heard. And I often and ALWAYS find it all J O Y any way!

I know where my hearts stands and my Lord does too. I know the desires of my heart are pure and right and whole, honest and genuine and from a place of true love and care for others. I know that there will be (and currently ARE) people who understand me, who get me, who value my friendship, my reaching out, my willingness to help. I know there will be (and currently ARE) people who don’t just ignore me and avoid me. These people have taken the time to see M Y H E A R T.

I know that those who do ignore me, or don’t give me the chance to be understood that they face their own insecurities and doubts and fears and that it’s 100% nothing against me at all, it’s not for me to take personally. And so, I pray, I continue to encourage and develop relationships even if it seems to be one sided at the moment. Still MY HEART does hurt for them in this place. MY HEART longs to just help and be a blessing to others in any way that I am lead to do so. MY HEART hurts for those who are hurting and fearful and lost in translation of this journey in life, I was once in that place too. MY HEART hurts for those who need a helping hand, but may not have the eyes to see just yet, I was once in that place too. MY HEART hurts for those who long to have genuine friendships and who long to be heard, to be understood and not ignored, I was once in that place too and often still am.

M Y H E A R T longs to share with others just how beautiful life can truly be though! M Y H E A R T is to share the joy that can be found in finding the good in all people and in all situations. Nothing happens by coincidence and not one person is brought into our lives by accident. There is purpose and meaning behind it all. The connections, the relationships, the opportunities, they all have a purpose.

So, I take J O Y in being MISUNDERSTOOD, IGNORED or not given the chance to know my heart. It’s not personal. And it’s in the enduring that we are refined. It’s in the enduring that we are created stronger than we ever imagine. It’s in the enduring that we are being prepared for people who do come into our lives that will understand us, value us, and take the time to get to know our hearts!

Christians who spread hatred…

One of the most historical Presidential elections in history it has been indeed. The actions and comments that have transpired after the final outcome I have to say have really been disheartening. America IS great! America IS the land of the free because of the brave. From sea to shining sea she IS beautiful! America was and IS a land where ALL different kinds of people are welcomed and people came together for opportunity and better lives, yet currently we are so far divided it truly is sad. We all want basically the same things, to live a life of happiness and opportunity, freedom and hope for a bright future, safety and love.

It does not shock me though honestly to see the craziness that has ensued after the elections and the hatred that is spreading. We live is a world that is hurting and broken and people have no direction or compass from right and wrong really. They lash out without thinking at all.

What I HAVE BEEN SURPRISED by is people whom I respected, people who I went to church with even that have been angry and even hateful of the supporters of Trump and those who have been hateful to the supporters of Clinton too. Either side you support, if you claim to be a person of faith, yet you are apart of the name calling, party bashing, character slandering, fowl comments or even threatening to “unfriend” people, sham on you honestly. Last time I checked the good Word, this is not the light we are supposed to shine on the world.

This is THE very reason people who aren’t of faith view us as hypocrites and rightfully so. I would encourage you to please get off your legalistic, high and self righteous horse and get back down to the roots of who people that follow Jesus are called to be.

We are called to be compassionate, quick to give grace, mercy, and L O V E. People who DO actually associate themselves with others who don’t believe what they do because that is exactly what Jesus did and God created each and every single one of us and we should treat people with dignity and respect. WE as followers of Christ are called to be people who have PEACE in the midst of chaos and the unknown rather than spreading thoughts and comments and conversations of fear or anxiety. WE are people who would actually give ANYONE the shirt off their back so that someone else can have their needs met regardless of what political stance they may have. People who GIVE more than they take. People who SEE the GOOD in each person even if it’s the smallest of things. People who see that the world around them is different and they embrace it and play their role in this journey of life. WE as followers of Christ are called to be a shining LIGHT ON THE HILL, not throwing evil comments around with no regard to the impact those words can and do have.

All politics aside, as a follower of the King of Kings, the Creator of the Universe, the one who gives me life and breathe I stand for what He calls me stand for. Period. End of story. My political vote for either party does not change the values I have, the faith I have, or to whom I serve. It doesn’t change the love I truly have in my heart for ALL God’s people regardless if they choose to follow His path or not. Each person came into this world a tiny babe from a womb in the depths of the earth knit together intricately by the Creator in the most unique way. We must see people’s value in this light and understand that darkness from sin does creep in. There is an evil one who seeks to kill, steal and destroy us and the last thing he wants is unity, yet WE as followers of Christ are called to community and unity. Let’s stand up for unity and stand up for one another again.

You don’t have to agree with my beliefs or my faith but you can know from my heart to yours that I LOVE others deeply no matter what. I will always strive to find good in others. I will not spread words of hatred or speak foul things about others. I am not perfect. I am not always good at this, but I always will strive to become better and shine a light of goodness, of hope, of peace and share the joy I have in my heart with those I may have the opportunity to encounter. It’s not because I have it all together or am something special, rather God IS and He has called me to be a vessel of His greatness and I gladly accept the challenge.

I will continue to pray for those who know not what they do. I will continue to pray for our nation and it’s leaders. I will continue to be a light on the hill that shines hope and love and kindness, and share joy and peace and patience with everyone! God bless America!

Be B R A V E & Fly

<B R A V E> With B R A V E W I N G S she FLIES.

She FLIES even when she thinks she can’t.

She FLIES even when she feels like quitting.

She FLIES even when others tell her she isn’t good enough to try.

She FLIES even when she may want to run away and hide.

She FLIES even when everything within her says to stay grounded.

She FLIES even when the world seems to think she is crazy to do so.

She FLIES even though she is tired, in pain, hungry, hurting, broken, or weak.

She FLIES when others are sleeping.

She FLIES when others say it is too hard.

She FLIES when adversity hits but she pushes forward with a light so BRIGHT!

She FLIES no matter what, because the circumstance she is in will change, life will try to knock the sail out from under her wings, but choosing to not fly regardless is NOT an option.

She FLIES because she knows it is the very best thing for her, but not just for her, for those who are watching her and needing her to soar.

She FLIES not for herself but to give herself away, to show others they too can soar HIGH!

With B R A V E wings she FLIES because staying where she is is more painful than the pain it may seem to be brave and begin to take flight. Soaring to new heights can seem scary, uncertain, the terrain may seem unbearable, shaky, or cloudy; she may get soaked with rain or face thunder and storms. But it is in those very storm clouds that her wings become stronger, they are stretched and she becomes even more beautiful and brave than she ever dreamed that she could become. She S O A R S with her wings stretched as far out as they can go and she seeks every opportunity to FLY with EAGLES!

BLOOM & Stand TALL

{BLOOM} The moment a flower blooms is when the excitement of the beauty that the flower represents is celebrated or noticed or acknowledged or appreciated. But the journey to get to the beautiful bloom of the flower is often just overlooked, unrecognized, not even given a single thought yet it’s the very reason there even is a bloom.

[TILLING] For the bloom to come to life it has to go on a journey and for the journey to even BEGIN the soil and the ground that the flower will bloom up out of has to be prepared. The soil needs to be tilled, prepared, enriched with even better soil and nutrients so that the seeds that are to be planted for the flower to bloom from even have a chance to come up. This is the same for the hearts of people, for me and for you. If we aren’t prepared to receive seeds we won’t even accept the seeds that may be trying to be planted in us to grow us. Lay a foundation of relational equity with people and also allow for time to prepare your soil. This is an organic process and it does take time. Prepare for the harvest though and it will come.

<SEED PLANTING> The next process is to actually plant the seed in the tilled soil. Once we are prepared to receive we are more open minded to thinking differently. If you gain trust you gain the ability to plant a seed and therefore have a potential opportunity to change a life, you have your life changed. Then seize your opportunity to plant away. Nothing blooms unless the seeds are sown. Be diligent and thoughtful in the seeds you plant.

~GROWING~ Be patient. Water the seed. Nuture them. Don’t be hasty. Don’t apply pressure or till up the soil to see if the seed is there. Let it be. Just like with certain seeds and plants, some needing more sunlight or less, some need more water or just a drop, some may need a certain climate, people truly are the same way. We all respond to things differently. We each grow at our own pace. We each respond to climates differently. The different ways we respond inevitably effect the rate at which we grow and that’s okay. Enjoy this journey because it’s what molds us into the people we are to become. It truly is a beautiful journey, one to be celebrated, encouraged and lifted up! Embrace it! Give thanks for this season!

| H A R V E S T | Harvest time is when the seeds you nurtured begin to come up and start to realize the plant that they were destined to become from the tiny seed in the dark depths of the earth from where they started! A miracle of life emerges! A transformation takes place! From the inside out, the seed BECOMES so much more. The BLOOM is the beautiful result of the struggle it took from deep within the earth to become and emerge, standing tall, in all its glory, beautiful, flourishing, gorgeous wonder and awe!

It’s a process. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes work. It takes consistent effort of watering and tending to. It takes faith in knowing that what’s to come will indeed be something so much more grand than you can imagine from the tiny seed from where it began. How beautiful and amazing!

So B L O O M where you are! And take heart in knowing that this is a journey. The struggle is the greatest victory! The growth from seed to harvest is necessary to BECOME!

Stand TALL and BLOOM!

Worthy to LIVE

L I V E don’t just exist. Enjoy the sunshine! Travel to new places! Get out of the routine from time to time. Try new things! Think outside of the box. Conquer your fears. Dream DREAMS so big that it scares you!
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Why would you want to spend 40+ hours a day coped up inside of an office space breathing in the recycled air, sitting under fluorescent lights (that cause headaches and who knows what else), dealing with office politics or drama, asking for permission to use the bathroom or being told what time you need to be hungry to have lunch. Why would you allow a boss dictate the places you go, the house you live in, the time you get to spend with family, the clothes you can buy, the food you eat by the paycheck they decide you deserve?
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I believe you are worthy of SO much more! You are worthy to spend as much time as you want to with those you love.You should be able to have the freedoms to decide where you work, outside or inside, at the beach or across the pond. I believe that you are worthy to have the house you want where you want it. I believe you are worth more than what your boss says you deserve according to your paycheck.
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What holds you back from taking your life by storm and taking control over your destiny? Is it fear or confidence? Is it money? Is it faith? Is it lack of knowledge? Is it support? Is it doubts that you could succeed? Is it fear of having success? These are ALL OVERCOME-ABLE!
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What if you had support, what if you had help to remove your fears and doubts, what if money wasn’t an issue to get going, what if your faith just started small?

MENTORSHIP IS KEY! It is a gift not to be taken for granted.

We have mentors through our business team that is world class. Everything else that I’ve ever seen pales in comparison to what we have access to. We have access to multimillionaires that love on us, that cheer us on, that develop us, that speak into our lives, that see our blind spots and redirect us, the bring us along side of them, they inspire us, they encourage us and they believe in us! They help us seek solutions. They too are always learning and therefore lead us by example and not theory. They give credit. They create followers. They show us. They give advice. They guide.
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If you want FREEDOM go after it! If you want to be free to take your kids to places you’ve never been or get them involved in sports or activities and not worry about the finances to do it, go after it. If you want to be free to work where ever you want to work and with who you choose to work with then go after it. If you want FREEDOM from debt, from paycheck to paycheck living you have to STEP OUT IN FAITH! Be open to thinking about things in ways you never have. Use your time productively in ways you never would. Renew your mind with positivity. Get out of your comfort zone because it’s in that place that EXTRAORDINARY things take place! I BELIEVE IN YOU!